Troublesome Fools Kid x reader *FoolsDaySpecial*

Hey, so this is just an April Fool's Day special for my Eustass Kid x Reader "Trouble" stories. I was asked if I was going to continue with them or not, and I thought up a good idea for later on, but then I remembered April Fools Day was tomorrow (today actually since I am posting this on April Fools Day), and I couldn't resist. Read on if you dare my pretties. *u*

Warning: swearing and the lot

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    Somewhere in an ominous looking ship, deep within it's wooden depths (in it's dining area to be exact), sits a group of moping men. Killer, seated at the end of a table farthest from the door, sits slouched over and with a straw poking through one of his mask holes. The neon pink plastic thing bobs in a glass of rum, making noise as the blond haired man slurps up the red liquid gingerly. A negative aura surrounds him. Similarly, his two other crewmates in the room also sit hunched over with dark clouds hanging over them. 

Wire and Heat each appear to be heavily dishevelled. Both men nurse their own alcoholic beverages. Wire plays with a pile of cold scrambles eggs on the plate in front of him. The tall man pokes at them with disinterest. Heat stares into his mug of beer with a set, zombie-like expression. 

"I can still feel the lipstick marks..." he mumbles glumly. He gives his mug a shake, watching as his reflection swirls with the liquid.

A shiver runs up both stitched and fishnetted men's spines at the memory that pops into their heads. 

"Don't even get me started." Killer grumbles from his slouched position. The poor man will never look at the color yellow the same way again.

The door to the spacious room suddenly slams open and a figure skips in. All three men nearly fly out of their chairs at the sudden noise.  

You pause, turn, and stare at the stiff muscled men, all of which have a backs so straight at the moment they could put a prime and august lady to shame any day. A long pause ensues as you stare at them blankly. 

"You know, you guys don't need to practice proper sitting posture. You're already heartless, ruthless, bloodthirsty pirates." you say with a blink.

Killer nonvisibly sweatdrops. "That isn't it..." 

"Hai, hai." you tell them merrily with a totally believable tone (not really), waving a hand in front of you in a flurried movement. With a dreamy sigh you make your way to the kitchen area.

The door to the fridge is popped open and you pull out an icy bottle of something. With a flick of your hand the top to the beverage is popped off and thrown somewhere behind you. A shattering sound follows, but you seem to be too wrapped up in your little world to notice, or care, about it. You continue humming an off key, but merry tune.

The three manly men (who totally haven't been sulking all morning) watch you with a mixture of fear and confusion.

"You seem to be in a good mood..." Killer comments cautiously, being the braver of the trio.

"Aaand why wouldn't I be my dear friend~!" you chirp.

"Should we get Doc?" Heat whispers to Wire. Wire gives a slow nod of his head.

An angry huff leaves you. Before you can speak another word the door slams open. A certain grumpy redhead, who everyone loves (you know you do), strolls.

"K-id~!" you shout/sing happily. You fling yourself at him, forgetting to hold onto your glass, and immediately wrap your arms around his torso in the best bear hug you can give a guy whose more than twice your size.

His expression morphs to one of annoyance quicker than the fall your forgotten beverage took. One of his hand quickly lifts, before it's trapped by your arms for who knows how long, to slap itself onto your grinning face.  "Dammit woman, STOP HUGGING ME!!" Kid growl/shouts, trying to push your face away from his abs (which you are now rubbing your cheek against).

"I love- you so- much~!!" you sing happily.

A scarlet hue pops onto Kid's face. The color comes close to matching his natural fiery hair color.  "I TOLD YOU TO STOP SAYING THAT!!!" he shouts in response. By now he is trying to worm his way out of your surprisingly strong grasp.

"E-eh! Stupid fire-head!! RETURN MY LOVE OR ELSE!!!" you scream back at him.

"Pffh!"

Kid freezes. His head slowly turns, and a very fierce glare is directed at a certain trio of men. "Who snickered?" Kid asks lowly. Wire and Heat have mortified looks on their faces, and Killer... well, it's hard to tell what expression he has. It probably isn't all that scared of Kid considering he's the one who calms him down half the time.

Kid doesn't get his answer as you take matters into your own hands.

A hand buries itself in his red locks and yanks, hard. "Pay attention to me!" you whine, a stream of tears going down your face.

"Ouch-fucking- dammit let go- WHAT THE HELL- j-just stop crying already!" Kid shouts out in pain and surprise as his hair is almost pulled from his head, ending with a final shout as you continue to cling to him and sob dramatically. A pinky hue still visibly streaks across his face. He definitely doesn't know how to deal with a crying woman. Hell, he can barely deal with woman (you) as it is. This is you crying though. The world may as well be ending.

"Only a kiss will make me feel better." you inform him with a sniff.

The hand is back and pressing against your face to pry you away.

You two continue to bicker back and forth, switching back and forth from yelling at each other to you showing your affection towards your captain and his reactions to them, and back.

Heat coughs into his fist. The men next to him also look as uncomfortable as he is. "Well, at least our plan worked..." he mutters.

"Maybe a little too well..." Killer adds gruffly at the sight of you trying to get your smooch from the captain.

"Should we leave...?" Wire asks in a quiet voice. 

"Repel!" A voice growls under his breath. A thud and an especially loud shout alerts them of a change in the situation.

All three men's eyes snap back to you two, only to see you stuck to the wall by a variety of silverware. You hang, suspended a few feet off the ground, with various knifes and forks holding you to the wall by your clothes. You angrily wave a fist in you captain's direction, using words and creative insults that would put even the most silver-tongued man to shame.  Kid stands facing you, arms crossed as he shouts something back at you in response to one of the names you call him.

You let out a huff and cross your arms in discontent at becoming a wall ornament.

"Now, which one of you mentioned something about a plan involving (Name) and I?" Kid asks menacingly, turning around after mumbling something to himself.

"... Uuummh... Run?" Heat mutters unsurely . 

"We've done a lot of running lately," Killer starts, "but I think that would be wise."  


Extended Ending:

"Stupid Kid. Hmph! I can't believe he left me hanging there on the wall... Stupid jerk." you Huff and grumble unhappily. Marching up to his room you fling the door open. Not even blinking at his undressing form, or his response to you barging in on him when he's doing such, you chuck a neatly wrapped box at him. The atrocious pink, square thing smacks him directly in the face while he's in the process of taking his pants off (talk about being caught with your pants down da-da-dump). 

Lossing his balance and falling backwards, the gift harmlessly falls onto his bed while Kid lands smack dab on the floor.

"Fuck." he curses, pressing a hand against his wounded face. He sits up, a hand holding up his yellow spotted pants. "What the hell was that?!" he growls. 

One of your hand raises in the air, only slash back down to point a single finger at him. "Happy late Valentine's Day bolts-for- brains." you tell the confused (and partially naked) redhead. 

Turning your heel, without waiting for a response, you leave his room... with his beloved coat in hand of course. So fluffy~.